


Louise Summons a Cute, Fluffy, Alien Experiment

by RainEStar3



Series: Louise Summons [9]
Category: Lilo & Stitch (2002), ゼロの使い魔 | Zero no Tsukaima | The Familiar of Zero
Genre: Cartoon Physics, Comedy, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Crossover, Family, Family Issues, Fantasy, Gen, Humor, Magic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27923533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainEStar3/pseuds/RainEStar3
Summary: Louise summons Stitch, Experiment 626, as her familiar. Stitch is lonely after Lilo leaves for college, and then finds himself in the care of another bullied little girl with violent tendencies. Such a twist cannot be coincidence. Stitch determined to make Louise a part of his Ohana. Somehow.
Series: Louise Summons [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690741
Comments: 4
Kudos: 38





	Louise Summons a Cute, Fluffy, Alien Experiment

On the Hawaiian island of Kauai, a small, blue, furry creature sat at the edge of his cliff, watching as the sun set over the horizon. His stubby, elephant-like legs dangled over the cliff’s edge, kicking in rhythm to the crash of the waves against the rock. His large black eyes reflected the orange sun as it sank into the depths of the pacific.

“Stitch?”

Stitch’s ears twitched in the direction of Lilo’s approaching footsteps. “Aloha, Lilo,” Stitch replied, slowly turning his head to meet the eyes of the girl he had known for most of his life. Though, calling her a girl at this point wouldn’t be accurate. While Stitch wasn’t romantically interested in his childhood friend, he knew enough about humans to see that Lilo had grown into beautiful young woman over the years.

Lilo sat herself down next to Stitch, also letting her legs also dangle and swing to the rhythm of the ocean. “So… I’m leaving for college tomorrow.”

“Ih.”

Stitch remembered how Lilo had struggled academically as a child. Partially because of her behavioral issues, and partially because she lacked focus on her studies. However, after spending several years with multiple aliens under roof—one of them having more doctorates than she had fingers—Lilo had picked up a few skills. She was now fluent in multiple languages, had practical knowledge multiple sciences, and most importantly, knew how to hotwire anything from a buggy to a spaceship.

Still, random skills alone wouldn’t cut it as an adult, and Lilo couldn’t use any alien-related experience in her resumes. Which meant she had to acquire an actual college degree. Thankfully, her mismatch of knowledge and talents attracted the attention of many prestigious colleges, but that required her to leave Hawaii to study.

Hence the current situation.

“Nani’s having a baby soon, so she and David will be too busy to hang around, but there’s all of your cousins to keep you company!” Lilo said excitedly. “Jumba and Pleakely aren’t planning to leave any time soon either. So even if I’m not here, you won’t be lonely.”

“Grand Councilwoman sent Stitch message,” Stitch said, catching Lilo by surprise. “She wants Stitch to join the Galactic Armada.”

“The Glgactic Armada!” Lilo exclaimed. “That’s great news, Stitch! You’ll be able to work with Reuben and Gantu. They might even give you your own ship.”

“Ih.”

Lilo gave Stitch a curious look. “You don’t sound too excited,” she noted. “I thought you liked traveling in space?”

“Ih, but…” Stitch took a moment to find the best way to word his thoughts. “Stitch’s ohana comes first. But Stitch’s ohana is breaking. Angel’s traveling the world. Some of Stitch’s cousins around the island, others in space. Lilo’s going to college. Nani and David are living on their own.” Stitch hung his head. “Stitch doesn’t know what to do.”

Lilo’s expression was thoughtful as she looked at her despondent blue friend. She reached over and pulled him into a tight hug. “Our ohana isn’t breaking Stitch, no matter how far apart we are,” she reminded him. “Remember what ohana means?”

“Ohana means family,” Stitch replied on cue. “And family means nobody gets left behind.”

“Or forgotten,” Lilo concluded. “As long we keep each other in our hearts, we’ll still be ohana, no matter if you’re right next door on the other side of the galaxy. Remember that, Stitch.”

“Okie taka.”

Lilo let Stitch go, and the two of them smiled. Neither acknowledged the tears in each other’s eyes. Lilo stood up and brushed the dirt off her skirt. “The plane leaves first thing in the morning. See you there?”

“Ih! Stitch wouldn’t miss it.”

* * *

“Aloha, everyone!” Lilo shouted. She waved goodbye to her ohana as she walked backwards towards the airport terminal, barely avoiding bumping into a very large and very sunburned man walking around with an ice cream cone.

“Stay safe!” Nani called out.

“Have fun!” David encouraged her.

“Goodbye, little girl! Jumba expects no less than one hundred and twelve percent in all subjects!”

“Did you remember your lotion? Sunscreen? Body wash? Any and all medical supplies? The mainland is a dangerous place—” Pleakley’s nervous rantings were halted by Jumba placing a large hand over the skinny alien’s face.

“Bye,” Stitch said softly as he waved goodbye.

The mismatched family stayed at the airport and watched as Lilo’s plane took off. Only then did they start to leave.

“She’s gone! She’s gone! And we won’t see her again for forever!” Pleakley wailed as he flopped dramatically on the floor.

“Get a grip one-eyed noodle!” Jumba barked. He picked up Pleakley and shook him around before dropping him onto his three feet. “Little girl is going to be just fine. I made sure to put everything little girl could possibly need into that bag of hers.”

“Please don’t tell me you packed anything dangerous,” said Nani with exasperated sigh.

“Dangerous to little girl? No, no, no! She has license!” Jumba assured the pregnant woman. “Any potential threats around her, heh he, they are in for a bad time.”

Nani narrowed her eyes. Even as they stepped out of the airport, she lowered her voice to a hiss to ask, “Did you give her one of your crazy alien devices again?”

“Come now, bigger girl, would Jumba ever do something like that?”

Nani glared at him.

“How about that time you gave her a jetpack because she was late to hula practice?” Pleakley said as he counted on his rubbery fingers. “Or that time you told her and the little monster which experiment pod had the exact type of mischief she was looking for. Or how about when—”

“Alright, alright!” Jumba interrupted, holding his hands up. “Jumba made some bad decisions. Even evil geniuses make mistakes. But Jumba was careful this time. It was purely human device Jumba snuck into little girl’s backpack. Only alien thing about it was Jumba’s alien evil genius!”

“ _Former_ evil genius,” Nani stressed.

“That is what Jumba said.”

David, the only relatively normal person in the group, realized that Stitch was being very quiet as he trailed behind the others. The man let his wife and the two aliens walk ahead as he slowed his pace to match the loveable fuzzball of destruction. “You’re taking it hard, aren’t you?”

“Ih,” Stitch said softly. “Stitch knows Lilo will be back, but Stitch doesn’t know what to do now.”

“The world is your oyster.”

Stitch looked up to see David smiling down at him. “It’s a saying,” the man explained. “You can do whatever you choose to do. Don’t worry about what’s wrong or right, just go with your gut.” David paused, then added, “Within reason, of course. I don’t think the house needs another remodeling job.”

Stitch could help but smile. “Okie taka. Thank you, David.”

“Anytime, little guy.”

The group eventually dispersed. Pleakely and Jumba still lived at the original family house with Lilo and Stitch, while David and Nani had moved out to a smaller, normal house further down the road. Every went to their respective homes, except for Stitch, who decided to go out for a walk.

Stitch had multiple options for what to do in the next few months, but now he was trapped in the paradox of choice. With all the paths before him, he couldn’t decide which path to take. Stitch reached for the tiki necklace around his neck. Lilo had given it to him after they had captured all of his six hundred and twenty-five other cousins, and it was now Stitch’s most prized possession. He almost never took it off. It was a reminder of how Lilo was his first and best friend.

‘What would Lilo do in this situation?’ Stitch couldn’t help by wonder. ‘Search for mysteries? Check up on the other experiments? Examine the glowing circle in front of Stitch?’

Stitch paused. Blinked. Took a step back.

Floating about two feet in front of him was the glowing green outline of a circle. It hovered roughly a foot of the ground, and was roughly twice Stitch’s height in diameter.

“Gaba?” Sitch questioned. He circled around the circle, and reached out a finger to poke it. He jerked back when a second ring drew itself inside the first ring. Then, in between the two rings, strange symbols began etching themselves, forming an engraved band.

“Oooh…” Stitch stared, transfixed as lines began to stretch from different points of the circle. Quickly, he grabbed a large leaf from a nearby plant and began to sketch out every line and symbol. His superior intellect and dexterity made this an easy task, and he finished just in time. Just as he finished drawing the pentagram that made up the circle’s center, the entire shape brightly flashed before turning into a solid circle.

“Mysterious,” Stitch commented. The circle didn’t have the sounds of alien technology, and the inscriptions matched some of the symbols from Lilo’s research of the occult. Stitch flipped through his inferred and night vision, but they revealed no other secrets of the mysterious circle, so Stitch moved onto the next stage of research. He pressed his nose close and took a deep whiff. He could smell something, but it wasn’t a scent he was familiar with. It was alien to him, ironically.

If hearing, sight, and smell weren’t useful, then Stitch logically moved the next sense to use in such experiments.

Stitch’s tongue shot out and impacted the circle. At least, it attempted to. Instead, the tongue pierced through the sloid circle without creating so much as a ripple, and Stitch couldn’t pull his tongue back out. The circle didn’t even taste like anything either. All Stitch could tell was that the air on the other side was colder the air on his side. He planted his feet and pulled, but that only stretched his tongue. His body jerked forward. Stitch tried to push off against the circle by putting his hands against it, but instead he fell through it, tumbling into the darkness abyss beyond. Instinctively, he curled into a ball as he waited to hit the ground.

* * *

In one of the courtyards of the Tristan Magic Academy, the class of second-year students were arranged in a large circle. Almost everyone student was accompanied by a creature, mundane or magical. They were gathered for the Familiar Summoning Exam, and as evidenced by the companions they had, most had already summoned their familiars.

Among the students was a balding, bespectacled man who stood with a staff. “Is that everyone?” he asked the class.

“Louise hasn’t gone yet, Professor Colbert” said Kirche. Kirche von Zerbst stood out from the rest of her class in more ways than one. She was a tanned Germanian, and her fiery red hair fell in a mane that covered one eye. Tall and gifted with a buxom body, Kirche fit the image of a femme fatale flawlessly. Her familiar was salamander that came up to her knee while standing on its four legs.

“Ah, yes, Miss Valliere,” Colbert said. “Step forward and summon your familiar, please.”

Louise de la Valliere stepped out of the crowd, clutching her wand in an iron grip. In contrast to Kirche, Louise was petite in both height and… womanly development. She was the image of dainty doll, with fair skin and bright pink hair. Her rosy pink eyes were narrowed in focus, and also brimming with worry and desperation.

“You want to bet Louise is going to make another explosion?” one student whispered.

“A fool’s bet. Who’d ever bet on the Zero?” another joked, prompting a bout of hushed laughter.

Colbert silenced the two with a disproving glare, but the sentiment was everywhere, and Louise knew it.

Not once had Louise managed to cast a spell successful. It didn’t matter the element or difficulty. While the girl had a solid understanding of magic theory, every attempt of practical application resulted in an explosion. Due to her zero success in magic, she was infamously known as Louise the Zero.

As Louise raised her wand, she was determined to break free of her unflattering moniker. The Familiar Summoning Exam was more of a ceremony than an exam, as there had never been a case of mage failing it. The exam was broken into two parts: a summoning ritual, and a contract sealing. The summoning ritual was designed by the Founder Brimir to summon a familiar best suited for the mage based on the affinity with their element and personality. However, since Louise showed no talent in any branch of magic, she didn’t know if she had any elemental affinity at all. And if she didn’t, then it was likely that the ritual would fail to summon anything.

The exam may have been more of a ceremony than a proper test of aptitude, but it was still required continue in her education. If she failed, then she couldn’t be considered a proper mage, and would probably be expelled from the academy. Her future depended on getting this one spell right.

“Miss Valliere? Are you ready to begin?” Colbert prompted, having seen Louise stand perfectly still for several seconds.

Louise mentally shook herself out of her stupor. Now was not the time to get cold feet. “Yes, I am ready,” she declared. She focused her Willpower as she chanted, “My familiar that exists in this vast universe!”

“What is she saying?”

“That’s not a part of the ritual.”

“The Zero is never going to succeed like this.”

Blood rushed into Louise’s ears, drowning out to the sounds of her classmates’ mockery. It was just her, her Willpower, and the summoning ritual. Nothing else matters except the familiar that she needed to summon. “My wise, powerful, beautiful, incomparable familiar, hear my call! By the power of the five elements, answer my summons and appear before me!”

There was a moment of silence, and then an explosion thundered across the courtyard. As Louise searched through the ashy smoke, her face gradually fell. There was no creature standing where the explosion came from.

“It appears I made a mistake,” Louise noted. Disappointment was heavy in her voice. “May I try again?”

“I’m afraid not, Miss Valliere,” said Professor Colbert with a solemn shake of his head. “The ritual is sacred. There can be no retakes.”

Louise lowered her wand slowly as the realization set in. Before she could lose her grip completely, a voice called out, “What is that?”

Louise turned back to the source of her explosion. Now that the ashy clouds were clear, she could now see a small, round _thing_ at the center of the explosion, covered in ash. The ball shuddered, then started slowly rolling towards Louise. It came to a stop at her feet, and then slowly uncurled, revealing a strange-looking creature. It didn’t resemble anything Louise had seen in person or in books. Blue fur, a large black eyes, stubby limbs, and long ears. A red collar was wrapped around its neck, and from there hung a wooden image of a misshaped face.

The rest of the students, once they had recovered from their shock, laughed at Louise ash covered familiar.

“Louise summoned a weird looking creature.”

“What kind of a familiar is that?”

“Does it even have an element?”

“It must be as weird as the Zero!”

Louise’s newly summoned familiar showed its teeth and gums as it growled. Then it barked, “Toga mega patookie!”

“Aww, it’s trying to talk, how cute,” Kirche said with a mocking smile.

“Louise, please complete the ritual,” Colbert spoke up, seeing that the class was already getting sidetracked. The creature Louise has summoned was one he had never seen before, but examining could wait until the exam was complete. The collar the creature wore was especially curious. A collar on an animal was a symbol of ownership, but given Louise had summoned it, that meant its old master was rather dead or a commoner. The Founder’s ritual gave Louise authority over it either way, but Colbert still wanted to learn more about the creature’s origins.

“Yes, Mister Colbert.” The pinkette knelt down to the small blue creature, who stared at her with wide eyes. It tilted its head, looking at her with… curiosity? Louise dismissed the thought. Whatever it was, it was unlikely to be intelligent. She chanted the words of the contract binding, “Pentagon of the five elements, I, Louise Francoise le Blanc de la Valliere, ask you to bless this humble creature, and make it my familiar.”

“Gaba?”

Louise ignored the creature’s mutterings as she kissed its bulbous blue nose. “And now the contract is completed.”

Her familiar blinked, staring at Louise uncomprehendingly. Then it turned its attention to its left front paw, where glowing marks started to form. “Gaba?” Its expression grew more worried as it started shaking its paw. “Ogata! Ogata!” it cried in pain.

“Stop making such a racket,” Louise ordered. “It’s just some familiar runes.”

Instead of verbal response, Louise’s familiar stood on its hind legs, put its paw in its mouth, and began to suck on it.

“That’s so weird,” one of the students commented.

“What is it doing?” another laughed.

Seeing that her new familiar was making a spectacle, Louise ordered it, “Come here!” Unfortunately for her, it seemed more focused on sucking on its paw than listening to her. “As your master, I order you to come here now!”

Her familiar took its paw out of its mouth long enough to bark, “Naga, toobaga!” before it resumed its sucking. Louise ended up having to drag it away from its spot as Colbert dismissed the class.

* * *

“You were an embarrassment to me out there,” Louise lectured her familiar as she let it into her room.

“Ooohh…” Her familiar seemed more content to scuttle around the floor than to listen to her words, which Louise was fine with. After all, she didn’t expect any intelligence from… whatever her familiar was. She noticed that while it was capable of walking on two legs just fine, it seemed to prefer walking on all fours. Its barking sounded like garbled syllables, but that was most likely just its strange way of communicating.

Louise look down at her clothes, which were riddled with soot from the explosion that had summoned her familiar. “Great, now I have to change,” she complained. “And probably take a bath too.”

She moved towards wardrobe, only to catch the sight of her familiar jumping on her bed, staining the covers with the soot that covered its fur. “Get off!” she snapped.

Her shout startled her familiar, causing it to somehow bounce off the bed and crash onto the unforgiving stone floor. Louise winced as the blue furball hit the ground, but was relieved when it only groaned and rubbed its head while muttering, “Ogata.”

“That’s what you get for making a mess of my bed,” Louise said haughtily. “Your bed is over here.” She pointed a pile of hay that had been piled next one of the room’s walls.

The creature rose to its hind legs. It looked at the bed of hay piled onto the stone floor, then at Louise’s soot covered bed with all of its soft covers. “Naga,” was its response as it flopped onto Louise’s bed.

“Get off!” Louise thundered. “You’ve already made a mess of my bed!”

Her familiar’s ears fell as it looked at the mess it had made. Then its ears perked up. It stretched out its long pink tongue and licked all the ash off the covers as Louise stared in horror. “Ta da!”

Louise’s face gradually reached the bright hue of her hair. “That is it!” she shouted. “Get off my bed and stay off of it!”

“Naga!”

She lunged for her little blue familiar, who was easily able to sidestep her grab. As a result, she fell face first into the slobber-covered sheets. Infuriated, she tried again. This time her familiar clambered onto the bed post. Louise was able to grab it, but no matter how hard she pulled, she couldn’t pull it off.

Her familiar looked bored as it stood against Louise tugging. The bottom of its hind paws stuck fast to the wood for no discernable reason. The ornament hanging from its collar was affected by gravity, but it appeared the rest of its body seemed content to disregard that law of nature. Eventually Louise gave up and let her body flop backwards on the bed. She regretted it once she realized that her hair had landed in the mess of slobber as well.

“Forget it,” she groaned as she covered her eyes with one of her arms. “Of course, I can’t control my familiar, I’m a failure of a mage after all.”

“Gaba?”

“The familiar summoning exam was supposed to be my time to show everyone that I could use magic properly,” Louise continued. She knew that her familiar couldn’t understand her, but she was tired and felt the need to vent. “I was supposed to finally cast my first spell properly. I’d summon a powerful familiar, and finally figure out what my element was.”

“Soka. Important?”

“Very important! I need to become a proper mage, or I can’t be a proper noble! If I can’t, then I’m just a disgrace who doesn’t deserve the Valliere family name!”

A very oddly shaped hand gently patted her head. “There, there. All better now?”

Louise finally realized that she was no longer talking to herself. Slowly, she pulled her arm away from her face. She was staring into the concerned eyes of her new familiar.

“Did-did you just t-talk?”

“Ih,” her familiar replied with a nod. “Aloha, Louise! My name is Stitch!” her familiar extended a clawed hand for Louise to shake.

There was only one reasonable response Louise could think of in this situation.

She screamed.

**Author's Note:**

> Tantalog Translations:  
> Gaba? – What?  
> Ih – Yes  
> Okie Taka – Okie dokie  
> Toga mega patookie – Kiss my butt  
> Ogata – Ouch  
> Naga – No  
> Toobaga – (you) Dummy  
> Soka – Sorry
> 
> Lilo and Stitch had an amazing story, well-thought out characters, great humor, and was one of Disney's best series to date. Change my mind. Or, simply enjoy this wacky crossover. While this isn't a crack story, it will be a comedy, because Stitch without comedy is a waste.
> 
> This story is technically taking place where Stitch! The Series (the anime spinoff) would be in the timeline. Lilo got herself a proper send off. Stitch has nothing better to do, so he can stay in Halkegenia for a while before he has to worry about getting home. While Stitch can speak English (And French, in this case), he will be speaking in Tantalog frequently, so each chapter will have a translation key. Hopefully his language is understandable by context.
> 
> Give me feedback. I like feedback. If you have change to spare, I have a Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/rainestar. And remember, comments are food for a writer's soul!


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